Safe Calls

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It is often quipped that even paranoids have real enemies, but it doesn't cost anything to be a little cautious. Don't take chances with your mental, physical, and emotional health.

As Susan used to say,

"When you go on a date, you feel vulnerable, but when you go some place to meet someone interested in BDSM, you will be vulnerble!"

A person going to a BDSM meeting should contact a third party and let them know where you are going, who you will be meeting, and when you are expected home. It is not unreasonable to establish a Safe Call system even if you will be the Master or Mistress.

The following information should be given to the person receiving your safe calls
  • Your full name
  • Your home address and phone number
  • Make, model, color, and license plate number of your car if you are driving yourself, or
  • Detailed information (flight numbers and times, rental car information, etc.) if you are using other transportation
All the information you have on person you are meeting, including
  • Their full name and screenname(s) or logon ID(s)
  • Address and phone number(s)
  • Age, description, any other information you might have.
Pass on to your safe call person(s)
  • Where you are meeting
  • The name of place you are meeting
  • The address of the meeting place, including applicable room or apartment numbers and phone number (if you do not have it ahead of time, give it during first phone call)
  • When you are meeting - time and date
  • The phone number for the local Police Department in the town you are visiting
Be sure to have agreed and understood codewords for your safe call, one indicating that everything is ok, and one indicating that you need help.
  • A first phone call should be made just before your meeting.
  • A second phone call should be made within 30 minutes of your arrival.
  • If your meeting is expected to run for an extended time, a call should be made every 2 hours.
  • The last phone call should be made as soon as you leave your meeting.
Establish a "Panic Phrase"
  • If you question "how the kids are doing" might be use to indicate that you might want the help, or talking about the weather is a sign that everything might be "threatening or stormy".
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