Five Things a Man Never Wants to Hear a Woman Say

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Five Things a Man Never Wants to Hear a Woman Say

Navigating the world of interpersonal relationships is tricky, and that’s even when you don’t put your foot in your mouth and say something stupid. But we all do it eventually, because we’re human and we can’t help ourselves. People are idiots, generally, and we’re no exception (really, ask anyone). Having said that, though, there’s a few things you should keep in mind that no guy ever wants to hear from the woman he’s dating and/or wants to date.

1. “I like you as a friend …” is just death. It’s also a cliché. As are the variations, which include “I love you but I’m not in love with you,” “You’re like a brother to me” and the like. Come up with a new tack, like, say, unequivocal and brutal honesty. Something like “You will never, ever, ever see me naked, so stop even remotely entertaining the idea,” might smart a bit, but it’s better to say it sooner and allow the poor sap to move on rather than hold out some hope that you’ll eventually change your mind.

2. Anything involving the phrase “my boyfriend” when referring to another gentleman. This includes “my ex-boyfriend.” Trust us when we say, we don’t care and aren’t interested in either of those concepts and wish you would focus more on us and not that jerk (who, of course, is probably a wonderful guy) you’re spending time with (or used to spend time with) instead of spending it with us.

3. “My parents want to meet you.” Yeah, um … feeling’s not terribly mutual. Wait, they’re buying dinner? OK, that lessens the blow a little, sure. Not a lot, mind you, but a little.

4. “Do I look fat in this?” Really? You’re going to make us answer that?

5. And, finally, guys don’t want to hear overly ambitious instructions in … uh … the bedroom. We don’t want to get too graphic here, but going overboard is kind of a turn off. Some helpful suggestions are great, sure, but acting like you’re reading a roadmap? Not so much. Same goes for its evil cousin, “Is it in yet?” which pretty much speaks for itself.


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