Conditional help requests (?)

Last week was a bad week for me. Three friends died and my Dad’s 90th birthday (my Dad died a few years back) all at once.

Two friends call me requesting my help. What I found most interesting was the fact they wanted that help on their terms. It would seem to me that if they really wanted help, they would accept whatever help I could offer under almost any circumstances and NOT the “I need help but only under my specific conditions”.

I guess I come from the old school where I very seldom request help. When I do request help, it is because I need it and I am willing to accept any help under almost any conditions I can get it.

“Robin, you have a truck. Can you help me move. But I have all these other commitments with other people that I need to complete first. My son has a baseball game on Thursday. And I need to turn my library book. Can you help me move please, pretty please?”

Well, I didn’t help her move. And she got very angry with me and told me where to go. I went there but she wasn’t there either. “There” was not a nice place and I shan’t go there again.

The other friend wanted a loan but wanted me to drive across town to deliver it. I did not deliver the money and she told me where to go as well.

I am tired of “going there” and I have decided that I’m not going to “go there”and if someone suggests that I should “go there”, I shall return the favor. In my library, I have an OAG (Official Airlines Guide) that lists every airline and every flight in America. I will tell them where to go, which airline to use, which hotel to check-in to, and what to do when they get there.

The point of this post is to ask people to think a little before asking for help. Sit down and ask your self what help do I need who is the best person to call and what am I willing to pay for their help. When I say pay for their help, I am not talking about money. I am talking about the “quid pro quo” of the help. Are you going to fix them dinner? How about a massage? Is there something you can do to make their life a little more enjoyable or stress-free.

If you were going to ask them to use their truck are you willing to pay for the gas. Or here is a unique thought-is there something you can do to help one of their friends as payment for the help you received.

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